stanleyknife

1 Stories like these always start with, A Long Time Ago……..not this one! Once upon a time when knights were bold and the land was ruled by a King… It was in fact actually ruled by a King and his Queen, but stories like this always forget about that part because the Queen is normally only interesting when she is cutting peoples heads of, and other un-ladylike stuff. I'm sorry to say, this is not one of those stories. The Kings' knights would protect the King (and Queen. Missed her again!), and the castle from any enemy who would come along and try and steal its treasure. Well, not the castle's treasure you understand because a castle is not

2 Dimensions is all I'm at: 1 at the front 1 at the back. If I'D 1 more I'D have 3 And you'D see more of me. I'm as wide as a tree But thin as a flea. If I'D turn away There'D be no more to see. *2 Dimensions (i.e. flat!)

A Rook snook a look at a spooky book he took: His neck was crook; His eyes went a mook; His legs they did shook; All for the spooky book the Rook took to snook a look.

Sickle shifting Swift Glides and carves a graceful arc; Flaps twice and dives with no effort or pain. Speed is his glorious style; To catch a bug or two. Not stopping one moment to watch and wait. Rushing without the rush, In a hurry to nowhere: Until it comes to rest and stops with eggs.

It hovers near the houses It's a strawberry delight. A wibbly-wobbly aircraft, An awfully strange sight. It might land in the playground; It could land on my plate, And all the disbelieving kids Would know the plane I ate.

1st cat: Have you ever seen a cat fly? 2nd cat: No, but I've seen a cat flap!

What do cats watch at the theatre? Mew-sicals.

A lean green jumping machine; That’s the life of the frog. With bulging eyes, A tongue to catch flies And a croak to be heard in the fog.

There was an old man named Cleese Who liked to plant and grow trees. All things arboreal would be his memorial So they chopped him down at the kness.

The Hare asked the Tortoise out to play And said: “We’ll have a race on this day!” The Tortoise replied: “That’s okay with me.” Stepped up to the marshal and paid the fee. “You’ll never beat me – you rock with legs! The entrants for this race are really the dregs!” Hare’s insult made poor Tortoise quite wild Which was odd, for someone usually meek and mild. They stood at the line; the Tortoise was snarling, The Hare he said then: “Catch you later darling!” So off he shot with giant flame trails behind, Which singed Tortoise’s nose – how unkind! Soon the Tor